Loving-Kindness (Metta) has been scientifically proven to boost emotional wellbeing, compassion, positive thoughts, better sleep, a sense of peace and calm among many other benefits. Traditionally there is a set of suggestions in which Loving-Kindness or kind wishes are sent to 1. yourself 2. a benefactor 3. an acquaintance 4. a difficult person 5. all beings, each of whom is sent kindness for several days before moving onto the next. There are also particular thoughts of safety, health, happiness and ease of care generated toward them.
For children there are no hard and fast rules except to use phrases that are meaningful to them to be sent to themselves and others, some of whom they may know but also to everyone in general. Beginning with the traditional "May I (or you or name)", an example of Loving-Kindness Meditation may look like the following:
Sitting comfortably, drawing a picture in your mind's eye, imagine sending kind wishes to yourself or others. Feel the kindness being sent and received. Any loving thought may be sent, not just or only the ones suggested. But always send the wishes to yourself first.
May I be safe
May I be healthy
May I be happy
May I be (brave, kind, helpful, caring, or anything that feels right to you)
May I be peaceful and calm
You may want to include thoughts like
May I ace my test. May I be a good friend. I wish my mom and dad would get along. May I do my best.
Choose 2 or 3 or more thoughts to send to yourself and others. After yourself, you might want to say
1. May my family be safe; may my family be healthy, etc.
2. May my friends be safe, etc.
3. May the bus driver (or the crossing guard or anyone you've seen but don't know well.)
This is a nice gesture but you may not feel you are ready to send to these people. That's OK.
4. May (name a person who you find really difficult) be safe, etc.
This is a really, really, really tough thing to do. You might not be ready to send kindness to someone who has been really mean to you. But let's think about this. As long as we send mean thoughts to the people who have hurt us in some way, we are surrounding them with even more negative energy. I don't know that this will work in our favour. It might even give that person more power. So maybe, if it's possible, we could find one thing that is good about that person or maybe we could find one thought we feel that we can honestly send someone. We know that bullies are people who are insecure. They do not feel good about themselves even when they are bragging that they are the best. We know that people who hurt are people who are hurting. So knowing they need to take our light, our goodness to help them feel more powerful, we could maybe could really wish:
May (name) find happiness. May (name) be kind. May (name) find peace
5. May all beings be safe, etc.
You might also like to send to your pets, anyone, any place. Always send to yourself first but once you are ready, that day, the next day or the next week, whenever you're ready, you can add someone else.
If sending to so many different people sounds too challenging, send to yourself and bit by bit add someone else or not! But do try it. This can have a wonderfully calming effect.
FOR ADULTS
A traditional example
May I be safe from inner and outer harm (May I be safe)
May I be healthy in body, mind and spirit (May I be healthy)
May I be happy in mind and spirit (May I be happy)
May I take care of myself easily (May be peaceful and calm)
Then add over time
1. Benefactor (loved one) 2 neutral person 3. difficult person 4. all beings
For children there are no hard and fast rules except to use phrases that are meaningful to them to be sent to themselves and others, some of whom they may know but also to everyone in general. Beginning with the traditional "May I (or you or name)", an example of Loving-Kindness Meditation may look like the following:
Sitting comfortably, drawing a picture in your mind's eye, imagine sending kind wishes to yourself or others. Feel the kindness being sent and received. Any loving thought may be sent, not just or only the ones suggested. But always send the wishes to yourself first.
May I be safe
May I be healthy
May I be happy
May I be (brave, kind, helpful, caring, or anything that feels right to you)
May I be peaceful and calm
You may want to include thoughts like
May I ace my test. May I be a good friend. I wish my mom and dad would get along. May I do my best.
Choose 2 or 3 or more thoughts to send to yourself and others. After yourself, you might want to say
1. May my family be safe; may my family be healthy, etc.
2. May my friends be safe, etc.
3. May the bus driver (or the crossing guard or anyone you've seen but don't know well.)
This is a nice gesture but you may not feel you are ready to send to these people. That's OK.
4. May (name a person who you find really difficult) be safe, etc.
This is a really, really, really tough thing to do. You might not be ready to send kindness to someone who has been really mean to you. But let's think about this. As long as we send mean thoughts to the people who have hurt us in some way, we are surrounding them with even more negative energy. I don't know that this will work in our favour. It might even give that person more power. So maybe, if it's possible, we could find one thing that is good about that person or maybe we could find one thought we feel that we can honestly send someone. We know that bullies are people who are insecure. They do not feel good about themselves even when they are bragging that they are the best. We know that people who hurt are people who are hurting. So knowing they need to take our light, our goodness to help them feel more powerful, we could maybe could really wish:
May (name) find happiness. May (name) be kind. May (name) find peace
5. May all beings be safe, etc.
You might also like to send to your pets, anyone, any place. Always send to yourself first but once you are ready, that day, the next day or the next week, whenever you're ready, you can add someone else.
If sending to so many different people sounds too challenging, send to yourself and bit by bit add someone else or not! But do try it. This can have a wonderfully calming effect.
FOR ADULTS
A traditional example
May I be safe from inner and outer harm (May I be safe)
May I be healthy in body, mind and spirit (May I be healthy)
May I be happy in mind and spirit (May I be happy)
May I take care of myself easily (May be peaceful and calm)
Then add over time
1. Benefactor (loved one) 2 neutral person 3. difficult person 4. all beings
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